Saturday, April 1, 2006

the saga of my confusion

The saga of my confusion has been the great drama of my twenties.
Initially, undergraduate academic success at U.T. was my only worthy
goal and that, in and of itself, was a pure and satisfying motivation.
I began simply as a history major--to this day my favorite
subject--reading into the twilight hours, quiet, reflective, thrilled
to be free of the incessant vicissitudes of my high school experience.
However, in my sophomore year I picked up a second major in film
production and I believe it was here that the focus of my life
shifted.

An obsession with filmmaking--the art and the industry--invites
notions of ego, the quest for glory, jealousy, intense competition,
and dread of failure. I made a perfect 4.0 at the fifth ranked film
school in the nation and was a stand-out student. At the age of 22 I
was obsessed with the idea of a career in film. However, my
experiences interning in L.A. convinced me that there was no real
opportunity there, and that the spoils of the Hollywood lifestyle were
a corrupting distraction from that which I truly sought to achieve:
success as a writer/storyteller.

My new plan of action became the Norman Mailer/Stephen King
model--the guy who in his mid-twenties writes and publishes several
novels and gains celebrity and financial freedom. Unfortunately, my
completed novels were not thematically appropriate for the
contemporary book industry and in the summer of 2005 I was forced to
admit to myself that I hated the day-to-day job of being a
novelist--by and large an exercise in self-discipline and extended
solitude. Around this time, I began to see increasingly the virtues
and potentialities of the new art called interactive media, including
but not limited to video game and web design.

The design of digital artifacts is a defining creative and
intellectual challenge of the 21st century, comparable in its cultural
complexity and historical importance to the inventions of the book,
the photograph and the moving image. It's very now. It's not hampered
by the monopolization/stratification I see in the film industry and by
definition it is the opposite of the decaying book industry,
collaborative in nature and possessing of unlimited and unforeseeable
growth potential. It's a place for mavericks and visionaries,
occupying the cutting edge between art and technology.

http://redhot.iu.edu/
http://www.mime.indiana.edu/index.html

I only hope I can use my time in Indiana to move
toward a successful career in which I'll be able to enjoy artistic
fulfillment as well as financial rewards. I may yet become a
professor.

"The whole art of war consists of a well-reasoned and extremely circumspect defensive followed by rapid and audacious attack." --Napoleon Bonaparte